The Pen and The Wind

Oh what tangled webs we weave, 
When at first we do receive, 
The malice from other and we try and fix,
The ill will we have gained from our antics. 

But what if forgiveness is a foreign trait, 
And you always still earn their hate? 
No matter how you try to make things right,
You still earn their spite.

You must learn this wisdom in order to succeed,
 It’s impossible to look into their heart and read,
In some’s hate you’ll always be stuck,
And to their opinions, you must not give a fuck.  

I met someone in passing today,
Resembling you so much,
I could swear she was your doppelganger,
And just the sight of this false you,
Brought about a torrent of emotion,
That I had long forgotten.

Some of them were sweet and lovely,
But tides of time and experience changed the shores,
And the river of thought twisted in new ways,
Your doppelganger brought about reminders,
Of all anger and a young lad spurned,
How this doppelganger may not be the evil one,
Of the two of you.

I then began to fantasize about fucking her,
Going at it so intensely that it just ruins sex for her,
Unleashing that hate with every thrust,
Leaving your copy sweaty and satisfied,
And pumping your toxic venom that poisons me into you,
And abandon her like you did to me,
As cold revenge for your treatment of me,
She’s just a tragic casualty.

But before I could enact my revenge,
She left to go about her business,
I spent too long in my own head,
And thus still have that venom in me.

I have loved too many times,
Than is healthy for one to have,
I was showed so little growing up,
That I’m pretty much starved for the stuff,
And with every rejection,
For every pointless reason,
It filled me with more and more resentment,
But not at those rather heartless bitches,
But at myself,
I constantly blame me,
For not being what they wanted.

But with every lesson learned,
I’m just as stupid as ever,
For I still manage to fall in love,
For the same type of girl,
I always think, “this time will be different,”
But it never is,
And so resentment and hatred grows,
Unending until I ruin myself altogether.

I love women so much,
And they seem to love making me,
Hate me.
Fuck my idiocy,
And romance,
They’re my poisons,
Which I ingest every day.

A man stood on a bridge, 
Looking deep into the water,
With a pained look upon his face,
When a woman walked by,
And going against her instincts,
Asked him what was was paining him so.

Without looking up he answered,
“I can’t seem to hate,
Despite the fact,
That I want to so badly.”

She was puzzled and asked,
“Why would you  want something like that?
Its a terrible wish,
And it sounds like a blessing to me.”

He turned and looked at her,
With such despair in his eyes,
And told her,
“I deserve this,
I’ve seen the darker side of humanity,
I’ve been tortured and used,
Lied and denied the right of personhood,
They treat me like this,
And all I can do is forgive them,
Just to be misused again.”

“I want to hate,
Because its so much easier,
Than to be crushed without end.”

The woman looked at him like he was crazy, 
And went on her way.
He just stared back into the water,
Knowing, he’d just forgive her.  

I see some small reminder of you,
And some darkness comes into my mind, 
And depresses me terribly so.

I no longer love you in any sort of way, 
But seeing you just reminds me, 
Of how you left me behind,
How you left me alone,
Against this world and darkness. 

I hate seeing you now,  
Because you’re never coming back,
And I am alone,
A lone whisper in the dark, 
With no one to hold me up.  

I walked into my bathroom today, 
And before I could do anything,
I spotted my nemesis there,
Hiding behind a glass veil.  

He stood there mocking me, 
Looking hideous as always,
And making me hate him ever more,
With his despicable nature and ways.

It was torture going about my business,
With him there, mocking and judging me, 
And I sighed because I knew he’d always be there,
Unreachable, behind that glass veil.