The Pen and The Wind

The writings and musings of a windswept soul.
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This past weekend, my randomly paired roommate went crazy and threatened to attack me. He spent the entire night yelling through the door about how all the ways he was going to beat me, and also a series of very hurtful slurs. 

Exhausted, the next day I snuck my way to the manager’s office and told him the story. I spent my saturday packing up and moving all in the span of a couple of hours. He placed me in an opening up the road with some very nice people. But I did everything so fast and so hungry (I wasn’t able to eat for most of the day because said crazy guy was in the kitchen and I couldn’t leave the room.) that it took a lot out of me. I was left exhausted for days after as I unpacked. But now I’m in a safe, nicer apartment. 

There’s a couple of small issues around this place that I’m working to resovle, all while juggling some work craziness and drama with a group of people I got roped into against my will. 

I’m also trying to get back in the dating scene. I’m having some luck with some people. I think they’re interested, at least it seems that way, but our work scheduels are conflicting. Fingers crossed in this regard, 

That’s it in a nutshell. I left out some details, and am postponing my planned piece until tomorrow because I had to work an opening shift and thus am beyond exhausted for working and doing an entire day on four hours of sleep. So now I- *passes out* zzz…

Full update on what all happened to me tonight, and I’ll also try to post a piece then too. 

Its been a crazy ride, and quite a story. Now I have to sit back and grumble grumpily about work calling me in this early. (It’s five AM where I am right now, and I am the exact opposite of a morning person.) 

Its been an insane few days. I’ll write about it tomorrow morning.

My annoying roommates that I hate just found out about my sexuality. They then spent a couple hours telling me how disgusting I am and asking me a bunch of insulting questions. 

*sigh* There’s a reason I like to keep it under wraps. 

3, 13, & 24
penandwind penandwind Said:

3. Furry, purr-y kitty. 

13. Rottie. I like how they look, and they’re just big ol’ fluffy, muscular puppies. 

24.One of my own. “Carpe Anima.” (Seize the Soul.) 

  • 1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?
  • 2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?
  • 3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”
  • 4: What’s something you really want right now?
  • 5: Are you afraid of falling in love?
  • 6: Do you like the beach?
  • 7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
  • 8: What’s the background on your cell?
  • 9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?
  • 10: Do you like your phone?
  • 11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?
  • 12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?
  • 13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?
  • 14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?
  • 15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?
  • 16: Are you tired?
  • 17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?
  • 18: Are they a relative?
  • 19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?
  • 20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?
  • 21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?
  • 22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
  • 23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?
  • 24: Is there a certain quote you live by?
  • 25: What’s on your mind?
  • 26: Do you have any tattoos?
  • 27: What is your favorite color?
  • 28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
  • 29: Who are you texting?
  • 30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?
  • 31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?
  • 32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
  • 33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
  • 34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
  • 35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?
  • 36: Were you single on Valentines Day?
  • 37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?
  • 38: What do your friends call you?
  • 39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?
  • 40: Have you ever cried over a text?
  • 41: Where’s your last bruise located?
  • 42: What is it from?
  • 43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?
  • 44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
  • 45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?
  • 46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?
  • 47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?
  • 48: Do you make supper for your family?
  • 49: Does your bedroom have a door?
  • 50: Top 3 web-pages?
  • 51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?
  • 52: Does anything on your body hurt?
  • 53: Are goodbyes hard for you?
  • 54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
  • 55: How is your hair?
  • 56: What do you usually do first in the morning?
  • 57: Do you think two people can last forever?
  • 58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?
  • 59: Green or purple grapes?
  • 60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?
  • 61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
  • 62: When will be the next time you text someone?
  • 63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?
  • 64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.
  • 65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
  • 66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
  • 67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
  • 68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
  • 69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
  • 70: How many windows are open on your computer?
  • 71: How many fingers do you have?
  • 72: What is your ringtone?
  • 73: How old will you be in 5 months?
  • 74: Where is your Mum right now?
  • 75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?
  • 76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?
  • 77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?
  • 78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?
  • 79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?
  • 80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
  • 81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?
  • 82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?
  • 83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
  • 84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?
  • 85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?
  • 86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?
  • 87: Who was your last received call from?
  • 88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?
  • 89: What is something you wish you had more of?
  • 90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?
  • 91: Do you sleep with your window open?
  • 92: Do you get along with girls?
  • 93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
  • 94: Does sex mean love?
  • 95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?
  • 96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?
  • 97: Did you sleep alone this week?
  • 98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?
  • 99: Do you believe in love at first sight?
  • 100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?




Kacy Catanzaro: the first woman in history to qualify for Mt. Midoriyama.

I just need everyone to watch this video [x]. She’s a 5 foot, 100 lb gymnast and she beasts through this insanely difficult, heavily upper body focused course like it was her morning jog. The camera keeps cutting to these massive, musclebound men in the audience with their mouths hanging open. For those of us live in Canada and can’t watch the video.

I was literally screaming and acting like a manic when she defeated this course.

First woman in history? Are these people forgetting that there are five other women who not only qualified for Mt. Midoriyama, but kicked it’s ass? Its on the original, non Americanized verion of the show 

I mean seriously, watch this video. She beats Mt. Midoriyama with five seconds to spare, which is better than some of the other male champions. 

Lets not ignore other awesome women just because they’re not American. 

(via luminescentsunshine)

Fun fact: Knees can aparrently metamorphose into organs of pure pain. 

I am filled with ouch. 

I realized that me falling into a depressive funk really derailed my plans for the summer. (And by that I mean learning more, reading more, writing more) My shit job takes a lot out of me, and makes it hard to do or think anything else for the rest of the day. 

But after talking with a friend, I realized that I should be making more of an effort to do those things. Those things invigorate me and make me feel better, so I should be trying to do them more. They should be helping me feel better and give me the energy that my job drains from me. 

I also realized that I’ve got a lot of ideas and projects that I’ve started or jotted down that are really good. So I’m going to me making more of an effort to do more despite working. More stories, and more intelligent stuff. I’m hoping that this will be well received by my lovely followers, and hope it will also be good for me too. 

Any thoughts, comments or suggestions are welcome. 




Wisconsin women’s hockey all-time leading scorer Hilary Knight poses nude for ESPN Body Issue

Knight: “There is this image of athletic women as small and petite — the yoga body type. Women in general, we tend to shrink ourselves and not have as much confidence as we should in presenting ourselves and our body types. It’s OK to be fit and healthy and comfortable within your body, whatever frame you have. Since gaining 15 pounds to be at the top of my sport [for the Olympics], I’ve tried to shatter the body image that muscular isn’t feminine.”


my body is ready

Can we get a shout out for muscular women here? I mean damn…

(via wolf-of-death-valley)

Lost four followers after posting that personal thing last night. I guess me talking about my problems is too much for some to deal with. Or rather want to deal with. 

I don’t exactly know what pushed me into it, possibly a profound sense of loneliness and alcohol, but I violated my little decision about not dating at all. I started trying to get out there… and like always I failed miserably. I kept getting turned down no matter what, and it was a real kick in the nuts emotionally and self-esteem-wise. I feel… almost like despite who I am and what I am like as a person, I am all but unlovable. I can’t help but think if I were to look better physically, I would be better recieved. And currently I’ve been working out more, but if I am right and after changing I start getting all this attention, then I’m just going to end up resenting people. I know they don’t give a shit about me as a person, just how I look. Is it really that hard to like me for me?

On a somewhat relevant tangent, can I just say how much I hate it when you ask someone if they want to hang out or do something sometime (not even asking on a date), they say all enthusiastically that they want to, you exchange contact info, and then never ever hear from them again. Though part of me kind of understands (even though not really, it baffles me), I honestly wish they would just tell me no from the start. I hate being a total fool, getting my hopes up, and experiencing disappointment again and again. Seriously, you can be a jerk to me, I’m a cashier, I get it all the time, it would save us both a lot of time and trouble. 

I’m just angry and sad. Angry at everyone else, and myself, and just sad because I’m lonely and I think no matter what I do, I’m always going to be. I just wish someone could like me for me, but as each day passes on, it seems more and more clear that just isn’t possible. And that’s almost too unbearable to live with. 

Anger is a poisonous pillar,
One we hastily construct in ourselves,
To keep our soul from collapsing,
While choking us,
Taking our breath away,
Anger, a means of survival,
Prolonging us,
But only in misery. 



*anxiously waits for the zero messages i’ll get*


Like my entire dating life, I am waiting for disappointment. 

(via misswiththecurls)

Super super wiped out. Hopefully some food and caffeine will do me right.