The Pen and The Wind

The writings and musings of a windswept soul.
Posts I Like


“what if the aborted baby could have cured cancer???”

oh my god what if the last egg I bled onto a kotex product could have cured cancer??

oh my god how am I not birthing every possible egg I produce, lest one of those resulting babies be the person who cures cancer/AIDS/creates world peace????

what if that baby could have been a musical artist described by pitchfork as “liberace with a metalcore twist”????

how dare i not be pregnant/birthing all the time always?????

What if that last load you blew into a dirty sock in a fit of self-loathing induced masturbation could have cured cancer !?!?!

(via luminescentsunshine)

A pretty accurate result. 

If you want to take this neat little test, you can do it here:



what do we do now??

(via heyidostuff)

So yesterday I was at a fair with some friends, and when we came across an airbrush tattoo place. I did the only natural thing, and got myself a tramp stamp.
I am something fabulous. 

So yesterday I was at a fair with some friends, and when we came across an airbrush tattoo place. I did the only natural thing, and got myself a tramp stamp.

I am something fabulous. 

Nana Ala sits in her chair,
Knitting with bloodstains in her hair,
And from wrinkled form that is so dwarf,
Nana Ala knits entrails into a scarf. 

Nana Ala the lovely demonic crone,
Her rocking chair Pandemonium’s unofficial throne,
She sits and talks to the damned,
And comforts those who’s fate is so lammed. 

Nana Ala tells them stories,
Though sometimes they are quite gory,
She makes them tea and bakes them treats,
Handing them out down flame paved streets.

And when Lucifer’s heart grows weary,
Nana Ala’s hugs make him feel cheery,
We need a Nana, no matter fate or place,
For the world can be so hard to face. 



i cannot believe that we were robbed of this book scene

This is no joke. These are direct lines from the book.

Its funny, I’m actually reading the book, and I just read this scene today. 

(via misswiththecurls)


Joseph: Late twenties man, trying to find a new life somewhere else in the world.

Maria: A beautiful woman, receptionist and caretaker of the hotel. Enjoys the company of her guests.

Alejandro: Porter, butler, and waiter for the hotel. Always happy to serve and accommodate and rarely speaks unless addressed first.

The scene opens up to a large, vacant hotel lobby. Old wooden architecture that have shelves lined with books and curios comprise it, and it is kept immaculately clean. Flickering candlelit lamps and a single dim electric light hanging overhead give the room a soft, dim glow. Center stage there is a dividing wall separating the lobby from what looks like a courtyard. In the wall there is a blackened doorway right behind a reception desk. From stage left we hear the sound of a door creaking open, followed by steps. Joseph enters.

Joseph: Hello? Is anyone here? (He steps forward into the room, looking around.) Hello?

The sound of whispering starts, quietly, but you hear the whispered voices clearly say “Welcome” before fading into silence.

Joseph: Hello? Is anyone here?

Maria silently enters from the blackened doorway and stands behind the reception desk.

Maria: Welcome sir! How may I help you?

Joseph: (Turning, startled by Maria) Oh! Hello, yes, I saw your sign. Do you have any rooms available? I’m exhausted from traveling all day.

Maria: Oh yes sir, we have plenty of room for you. How long will you be staying?

Joseph: Oh just the night, I’ll leave come the morning.

Maria: But sir, you do not look so well. Maybe you should stay another day or two, you look like you need the rest.

Joseph: Well, I do feel strange, and I was doing a lot of swerving because of exhaustion earlier. Maybe you’re right, put me down for an extra day to rest up.

Maria: Excellent sir. Let me call our porter to help you with your things.

She reaches under the counter and the sound of a bell rings. Immediately Alejandro appears from a hallways stage right.

Alejandro: Allow me to help you with your things.

Maria: Room 13 Alejandro.

Alejandro picks up Joseph’s bag and begins walking with him to the back hallway. Maria exits through the darkened doorway.

Alejandro: And if you need anything during your stay here sir, please do not hesitate to ask.

The whispering from before can be heard, and the voices say “Welcome” before they and the lights fade.


The lights come back up, but much brighter and focused on the courtyard. Several plants and a fountain are scattered around, while a stone wall surrounds the area. Maria is here, looking over the stage right wall to the landscape. Joseph enters from the obscured center stage door.

Joseph: Oh, hello, I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be out here.

Maria: (Still looking out over the wall) Ahh, Buenos tardes senor. How are your accommodations treating you?

Joseph: Oh they’re wonderful; a rest was just what I needed. Thank you for talking me into it.

Maria: (chuckles) Well, I think you would have found it hard to leave anyway.

Joseph: I know what you mean; this all is quite beautiful and luxurious here. The temptation to stay would have been incredible. You’re lucky you get to stay here all year.

Maria: (Her face darkens) Stay… it is not as easy as that senor. Near the beginning I thought it the same as you, but as time draws on you begin to reflect. I’m nothing more than a glorified prisoner here, and I am the only thing keeping myself here. (pause) We all are really.

Joseph: Huh? I’m not sure what you mean?

Before Maria can answer the sound of a church bell in the distance chimes five times.

Maria: Oh dear! Is it so late already? I must begin dinner immediately. Please sir, I insist you join us all in the hall for dinner. I am hoping I can see you there. (She gives Joseph a flirtatious glance as her hand remains on his shoulder for a bit before exiting stage left).

Joseph remains on the courtyard. The church bell chimes again a single time while the hushed voices whisper “Welcome” once again. He starts to look around for the source of it, when Alejandro walks through the door.

Alejandro: Ahh, there you are sir, I was just checking to see if you needed anything.

Joseph: (surprised) Oh, yes. I’m actually in the mood for some wine if you don’t mind.

Alejandro: Ahh, not a problem sir. What would you like?

Joseph: I’m a little preferential to Bramatera if you have any.

Alejandro: Apologies sir, we haven’t carried that vintage since ’69.

Joseph: Ahh, alright. Whatever you recommend then, I’ll take it out here.

Alejandro: I know just the thing sir, and I’ll bring it right out. I trust you’ll be joining us for dinner?

Joseph: Yes, yes I will.

Alejandro: Excellent sir, I’ll fetch you when it is prepared. (Exits stage left)

Joseph lingers as the church bell chimes once more and the whispers of “Welcome” echo once more. The lights fade.


The lights come back up, the courtyard now replaced with a grand dining hall. Several people are already sitting silently, all varied greatly in clothing, but all their attire is white. Only Maria, seated at the head of the table stands out, wearing a shimmering red dress. Joseph enters stage right and takes a seat next to Maria, she gives him a smile and rings a small bell. Alejandro enters carrying a large roast and places it in the center of the table.

Maria: Welcome all, let us begin, like every night.

What begins is a ghastly scene. The dinner guests start giving ghastly moans and groans, taking their silverware in both hands and begin to violently stab at the roast. Joseph is startled and stands, backing up against the wall. Maria remains seated, laughing  at the spectacle. The lights begin to flicker, before cutting out entirely. After a few moments, they cut back on , and Maria is lying on the table as the dinner guests keep violently stabbing at her like they were doing at the roast, all the while she is laughing like she was before. Joseph is horrified, and runs out of the room, into the lobby. He runs over to the door, but begins pounding on the wall.

Joseph: (Still pounding on the wall hard) The door, where is the door?! Where is the door?!

The lights flicker again, and when they come up Alejandro is standing at the desk.

Alejandro: How may I help you sir?

Joseph: (turning to Alejandro, panicked) Alejandro, I don’t know what is going on here, I just want out! I want to leave, let me check out, let me leave!

Alejandro: (calmly walking over to Joseph) Sir, sir you must calm down. Things here may just be a misunderstanding. I’m sure we can work this out by tomorrow.

Joseph: No, I want out now, let me check out, let me leave!

Alejandro: Sir, you misunderstand. You see, we have a special policy here. (The lights begin to flicker again) You are free to check out any time you like, but you may never leave.

The lights cut out entirely for a moment, when they cut back on, Maria is standing beside Joseph.

Maria: My dear, it is rude to leave before dinner is finished. (She begins laughing again like she did at dinner, as the lights cut to black.) 

My assignment for my playwriting class was to adapt something else into a play format. Now I could really only think of one thing that was halfway decent, but was never entirely satisfied with it. But I ran with it, and the results are kind of neat, so I hope you all like it. 

Literacy is important because it helps us read the writing on the wall.



laid is pronounced like paid but not said and said is pronounced like bread but not bead and bead is pronounced like lead but not lead

I’m an English major and even I’ll say that the english language is horseshit.

^ Agreed. When it comes to languages, English is just through the looking glass. 

I’m looking for new people to hang with and broaden my horizons. :) 


How in the world can people have such beautiful hair and it not look like it is dying?! I WANT TO KNOW THEIR SECRETS! So gorgeous. :3 And the styles. 

Hair porn, guys. This is it. 

I have such a weakness for alt colored hair, especially when it is done in cool styles like this. 

The receptionist at the salon I like to go to has the most amazing hair. It’s a seamless gradient from white to purple, and it just cascades so fluidly… it is something awesome (I want to ask for a picture of it, but that’d be creepy.). 

(via bonesandblood-sunandmoon)

Bored from doing schoolwork and dealing with crazy all day. Lets chat, anon is on and everything, so lets do it. 


My book of cartoons ‘You’re All Just Jealous of my Jetpack’ is available now:
Other stockists and info at

In my playwriting class, a friend of mine recently did a little sequel to the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory universe. In it, Agustus Gloop becomes a washed up alcoholic with PTSD because he nearly died, Charlie became a nervous CEO constantly dodging the press, and the Oompa-Loompa become a militant revolutionary group after years of exploitative conditions. 

It was a thing of beauty. 

(via queen-wienerlooks)